Tuesday evening, I went to a hotpot restaurant. It was very different from the one I'd frequented in Beijing. The one in Beijing was a biggish, fancy place, with Western toilets and hand soap, with a picture-menu, and with a hundred or more choices of soups, meats, veggies, tofus, and noodles.
This one, on the other hand, was a little 12-by-15-foot room into which about 20 could be seated - 25 with a squeeze. Its back wall was mirrored, to make it look bigger. It did not cook on hotplates but on little, individual gas stoves set into the tables - water was poured into the bottom, to keep it cool, and then the gas was lit with a lighter and kept on with a little dial on the side.
But it was tasty. The menu was short - one single page of blue paper, thin as airmail paper, upon which you marked your choices of food. There were about 7-10 choices of meat and veggies, 5 each of noodles and tofu, a few mushrooms, a few starches. My friend and I ordered, and, within a few minutes, were served. We ate, sharing a liter of Harbin beer.
The food was good, and apparently the place was popular. It was talkative inside, and around the middle of our meal a table of partiers stood and escorted a very drunk member of their group outside; he had to be puppeted, since he couldn't stand. My friend looked at the table and said "baijiu", and then I saw it too: a small, clear bottle with the familiar red label and the familiar red box. No wonder he was drunk: every country has its super-strong, paint-stripping, one-sip-and-you're-floored alcohol, and China's is baijiu. This bottle was empty.
But the food was good, so we kept eating. Filled up, finished our veg and our meat and much of our soup. We were just finishing up when a girl came up and leaned on our table.
Leaned on our table with a cup full of beer. Uh-oh.
"Essacuse me," she said to me, and then switched to Mandarin, "you're an English teacher? and you know English and you teach English?"
"Uh, yeah..."
Back to English: "Oh my goooddddd! Woulda you teachme English! You speak -" Chinese again, "you speak Chinese? Do you speak Chinese?" English again, "you teache me English! Okay?"
I stared at her.
She switched back to Chinese. "You are a teacher, you teach English, I heard your English is very good, you speak Chinese? You speak Chinese, I teach you Chinese, you teach me English, okay? I want to learn English." The effort of standing became too much and she pushed my coat aside and slid into the booth next to me. English: "you teache me English, okay?"
I didn't want to harsh her buzz, so I said, "well, my schedule's a bit full-"
Chinese: "But you're an English teacher right?" English: "oh my god! Oh my GOD you teache English right?" Chinese: "you speak Chinese? So I can teach you English, I mean I you teach me English because you're an English teacher," and she leaned close to me, five inches from my face, and, thankfully, put her full beer down on the table.
I tried my schedule excuse again. She would have none of it. I said I spoke Chinese, yes. She was delighted. I said maybe, we'll see, I needed to check - and "OOOHHH THANK YOU! OH MY GOOOODDDDD THANK YOU" and she took my hand and shook it and then kissed it and became quite incoherent and entered my cell phone number on her phone and got my name wrong five times and thanked me again and kissed my cheek and got up and drank her entire beer down in one gulp and wove her way back to her own table.
"We're leaving," I told my friend.
"Quickly," she agreed. "I think the guy behind you's getting up."
